How to navigate the internet — and life — unbothered.

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Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

Every time I find myself in conflict with a stranger or someone I don’t know well, I remember a conversation with a friend of mine from our college days. This friend was discussing an issue of tension between herself and another girl on our campus. My friend had said something and this something was repeated and the afore mentioned girl got an attitude about it.

The details aren’t relevant but what is, is that the girl was far more invested in the “beef” than my friend was. My friend’s conclusion on the situation was simple, “she doesn’t have a problem…


Is there any virtue in the world of online reselling?

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Photo by Erin Song on Unsplash

I recently came across a tweet where a girl was trying to sell some of her old clothes to help with her college funds. Totally fine. However in the post, she made a comment about how “Depop girls” are terrible, or something to that degree. While I am far too old to be considered a Depop girl (I’ve been selling on Ebay since long before Depop even existed) the comment didn’t sit right with me.

Someone asked the girl what she meant and she explained that, it was bad to go into the thrift store, buy something that someone else…


Stop calling them to solve problems. They don’t.

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Photo by Nina Strehl on Unsplash

Police do not stop or solve problems. It’s not what they have been trained to do. It’s not what they have a vested interest in doing. Police do not protect people. Again, not what they’re trained for, not what they have an interest in. There is a point, obviously, with cases that have escalated into violence, where law enforcement has to be called, but they do nothing to prevent violence in the first place.

In the case of the 9 year old Black girl from Rochester, New York who was pepper sprayed…


Because life is for living and learning.

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Photo by Arwin Neil Baichoo on Unsplash
  1. Ask for help before you reach your breaking point.
  2. Family is who you choose.
  3. The past always seems simpler. Try to remember that. one day, you’ll look back at this time, and it will seem simple too.
  4. If you’re competing against anybody other than yourself, you will lose.
  5. Peace and quiet are like sugar and honey: a dash or a splash is all it takes to sweeten a bitter day.
  6. This is real life, not a hallmark movie. Sometimes you will need people to support you and they won’t be available, not because they don’t care but because they are…


It’s important to check in with others…and yourself.

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Photo by Chewy on Unsplash

2020 was difficult for all of us for many different reasons. Though I set out in January 2020 with the goal of writing and publishing everyday on this platform, the reality is that Medium is not a major source of income for me. During an already busy and expensive month during an already stressful and draining year, it made sense to me, from a self-care perspective, to take some time off from pressing that publish button. Instead, I decided to check in both with people who have supported me on here and…


Here’s what to do when you suspect you’re being lied to.

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Photo by Sorin Sîrbu on Unsplash

Years ago I used to occasionally do readings at a local DC restaurant called Busboys and Poets, where they hosted an open mic night. Sometimes friends would come to support me but often I went alone. On one such night, I ran into a friend’s boyfriend at the open mic. Actually, he saw me first and waved me over. He was with two girls but I thought nothing of it. We spoke briefly and I went on my merry way. Later, when I mentioned seeing him to my friend…


Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I became a mother.

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Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash

When I was 21, a good friend of mine had a baby. Though we had not spoken in years, she invited me to her baby shower and I was excited to attend. Of course, one part of this was the delight of seeing a friend after many years but another part was that I was stepping into my own desire to be a mother, one day. I remember wanting to feel close to her — to be a part of her proverbial “village” — but not knowing…


I took a month off of writing on Medium. Now I’m back.

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Welcome or welcome back! It is a new year and that’s as good a time as any to reintroduce myself on this platform. My name is Kesia. I’m a 30 year old writer from Washington, DC now living in the ‘burbs. I graduated from Boston University after studying English and creative writing and minoring in African-American studies. I’m also a mom of two boys.

I love writing and have from a very young age. This stemmed from a love of reading. Some of my favorite books include The…


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Photo by Chewy on Unsplash

I’ll start this piece off with a disclaimer as many pieces about race tend to need: I do not question who anyone dates on a personal level. What I am interested in investigating are the assumptions, institutions and stereotypes that influence people’s dating habits, consciously or subconsciously, myself never excluded. I have multiple inter-racial couples in my own family and love these people dearly. This post is about recognizable patterns in society.

Last night I came across a tweet congratulating Gabourey Sidibe on her recent engagement to Brandon Frankel. Sidibe is a fat Black woman and Frankel is a slim…


From YouTube to Instagram, couples are making money from their love, but what if things don’t work out?

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Photo by Hendo Wang on Unsplash

We’ve all seen them and maybe even follow a few: social media couples who make a pretty penny from their relationship. The pros of monetizing your love are obvious. If you hit it big, it can lead to big checks. There’s plenty of examples, like R&B singer Queen Naija or De’arra and Ken. Even if you don’t make it big, there are a number of middle-of-the-pack personalities who are making a good living off of showing the daily ins and outs of…

Kesia Alexandra

creative writer, creative speller.

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